I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
