I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
