found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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