why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
