im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think I sprained my soul last night
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
