From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
