Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
