were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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