I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
