I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
