just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i think im in europe. pls send help
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
