she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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