Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
