Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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