So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
