I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
