the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
