please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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