i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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