Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My vagina is officially offended.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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