I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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