If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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