he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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