We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
