Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
