I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
