Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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