so that wasnt chicken after all
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
