He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
