then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
my liver is dry heaving
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
FUCK WHALES
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