I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
