I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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