It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
