i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
