I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Bring me that man meat
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
