I could have mohawked her pubes.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
