i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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