you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
