I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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