Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
