Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
