I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
