I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
