so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
