I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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