ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
