yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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