Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
