He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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