i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Everyone says I win the strip club
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
