Non-Jews are for practice
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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