physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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