i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
