just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
