I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
