he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Say something about gay babies.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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