Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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