The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
