don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
